Bastards: Why I love them and why the world needs more of them
Topic: general blog
Some may think that 'bastard' is an insult.

Depending on the context in which it's used, any word could be an insult; slightly alter context, and a word, like bastard, can become something of a compliment.

First, let's look at bastards on TV shows.

Remember Ted Danson's series Becker? He portrayed highly opinionated Dr. John Becker. There's a bastard for you. He couldn't stand idiots, or anyone who wouldn't use their brains. And he wasn't afraid to tell someone why they were being an idiot.

Then there's Dr. Gregory House of, you guessed it, House. A manipulative bastard, as Foreman once called him. Granted, I have not been watching the sixth season, so I have no idea if he's changed much. Quite frankly, I don't want to know. The first three, maybe four seasons, that's the House I love. Such a brilliant bastard.

There a plenty of other bastards on TV: Gibbs and Fornell on NCIS, John Munch on Law & Order: SVU, maybe even Jonathan Archer of Star Trek: Enterprise, but in the real world, I have not had the good fortune to meet many.

Oh, don't get me wrong, I've known quite a few asses in my time, just not enough bastards.

What's the difference, you ask?

An ass is . . . just an ass. You know, a jerk, usually loud-mouthed, not necessarily that intelligent but tries to come across as more knowledgeable than he really is, not much in the way of redeemable qualities. An ass won't stick around when things get rough.

A bastard, on the other hand, has well thought out and informed opinions, a fair degree of intelligence, might be called a jerk when, ahem, sharing an opinion. But when you get backed into a corner, you want a bastard on your side.

My ex was an ass. Bad temper, wanted everything his way (and I do mean *everything*), tried to control me, got pissed off when I wouldn't conform to what he thought I should be. He was not worth the aggravation and stress he caused me.

According to him, though, I didn't know what stress was; only he knew what stress was.

Ri-i-i-ight, like I would take the word of someone who has no idea *how* to love. He'd just take, use, and abuse without giving in return.

That's the opposite of the man I've been with for the past two and a half years (what a man, what a mighty good man, as the Salt-n-Peppa song goes).

We're equals in this relationship, a good give and take.

He's the one who introduced me to the term bastard, the way I use it now, as well as the show House.

He describes himself as a bastard, irreverent, not completely politically correct (yes, I'm smiling writing this).

Gods help me, I love bastards.

This world needs more bastards, more people not willing to accept things on blind faith, people willing to shake things up, more people to be, as one twitter user (shockozulu) calls himself, a shit disturber.

There's a quote, by George Bernard Shaw, that I like:

"The reasonable man adapts himself to the world; the unreasonable one persists in trying to adapt the world to himself. Therefore, all progress depends on the unreasonable man."

So, which are you?

Do you sit back, accepting the world the way it is, perhaps even blind yourself to the imperfections and injustices?

Or are you a bastard, unreasonable, trying to make the world a better place?

Going to Home Depot?
Mood:  cheeky
Topic: humour
Something very funny my friend Ron emailed me

You are in the middle of some kind of project around the house - mowing the lawn, putting in a new fence, painting the living room, or whatever. You are  hot and sweaty, covered in dirt or paint. You have your old work clothes, T-shirt with a stain from who knows what, and an old pair of tennis shoes.

Right in the middle of this great home improvement project you realize you need to run to Home Depot to get something to help complete the job. Depending on your age you might do the following:

In your 20's

Stop what you are doing. Shave, take a shower, blow dry your hair, brush your teeth, floss, and put on clean clothes. Check yourself in the mirror and flex. Add a dab of your favorite cologne because you never know, you just might meet some hot chick while standing in the checkout lane. And you went to school with the pretty girl running the register.

In your 30's

Stop what you are doing, put on clean shorts and shirt. Change shoes. You married the hot chick so no need for much else. Wash your hands and comb your hair. Check yourself in the mirror. Still got it. Add a shot of your favorite cologne to cover the smell. The cute girl running the register is the kid sister to someone you went to school with.

In your 40's

Stop what you are doing. Put on a sweatshirt that is long enough to cover the hole in the crotch of your shorts. Put on different shoes and a hat. Wash your hands. Your bottle of Brut Cologne is almost empty so you don't want to waste any of it on a trip to Home Depot. Check yourself in the mirror and do more sucking in than flexing. The spicy young thing running the register is your daughter's age and you feel weird thinking she is spicy.

In your 50's

Stop what you are doing. Put a hat on, wipe the dirt off your hands onto your shirt. Change shoes because you don't want to get dog shit in your new sports car. Check yourself in the mirror and you swear not to wear that shirt anymore because it makes you look fat. The cutie running the register smiles when she sees you coming and you think you still have it. Then you remember the hat you have on is from Buddy's Bait & Beer Bar and it says, 'I Got Worms'.


In your 60's

Stop what you are doing. No need for a hat anymore. Hose the dog  shit off your shoes. The mirror was shattered when you were in your 50's. You hope you have underwear on so nothing hangs out the hole in your pants. The girl running the register may be cute, but you don't have your glasses on so you are not sure.

In your 70's

Stop what you are doing. Wait to go to Home Depot until the drug store has your prescriptions ready, too. Don't even notice the dog shit on your shoes. The young thing at the register smiles at you because you remind her of her grandfather.

In your 80's

Stop what you are doing. Start again. Then stop again. Now you remember you needed to go to Home Depot. Go to Wal-Mart instead and wander around trying to think what it is you are looking for. Fart out loud and you think someone called out your name. You went to school with the old lady who greeted you at the front door.

In your 90's & beyond

What's a home deep hoe? Something for my garden? Where am I? Who am I? Why am I reading this? Did I send it? Did you? Who farted?

-------------------------------------

The really funny thing is that my boyfriend, in his 50s, is more likely to do what's listed for a guy in his 30s! And he looks it, too! OK, maybe late 30s, but you get my point . . .

High School 1957 vs 2007
Mood:  spacey
Topic: humour
Sometimes it amazes me how much things have changed just in the last twenty years. Look how much they've changed in fifty!

--------------------------

HIGH SCHOOL - 1957 vs. 2007


Scenario 1:


Jack goes quail hunting before school and then pulls into the school
parking lot with his shotgun in his truck's gun rack.


1957 - Vice Principal comes over, looks at Jack's shotgun, goes to his
car and gets his shotgun to show Jack.


2007 - School goes into lock down, FBI called, Jack hauled off to jail
and never sees his truck or gun again. Counsellors called in for
traumatised students and teachers.


Scenario 2:


Johnny and Mark get into a fist fight after school.


1957 - Crowd gathers. Mark wins. Johnny and Mark shake hands and end
up buddies.


2007 - Police called and SWAT team arrives - they arrest both Johnny
and Mark. They are both charged with assault and both expelled even
though Johnny started it.


Scenario 3:


Jeffrey will not be still in class, he disrupts other students.


1957 - Jeffrey sent to the Principal's office and given a good paddling
and talking-to by the Principal. He then returns to class, sits still and
does not disrupt class again.


2007 - Jeffrey is given huge doses of Ritalin. He becomes a zombie.
He is then tested for ADD. The school gets extra money from the
state because Jeffrey has a disability.


Scenario 4:


Billy breaks a window in his neighbour's car and his Dad gives him a
whipping with his belt.


1957 - Billy is more careful next time, grows up, goes to college and
becomes a successful businessman.


2007 - Billy's dad is arrested for child abuse. Billy is removed to
foster care and joins a gang. The state psychologist is told by Billy's
sister that she remembers being abused herself and their dad goes to
prison. Billy's mom has an affair with the psychologist.


Scenario 5:


Mark gets a headache and stops at the store for some aspirin on the
way to school.


1957 - Mark shares his aspirin with the Principal, who had a headache,
out on the smoking dock.


2007 - The police are called and Mark is expelled from school for
drug violations. His car is then searched for drugs and weapons.


Scenario 6:


Pedro fails high school English.


1957 - Pedro goes to summer school, passes English and goes to
college.


2007 - Pedro's cause is taken up by state. Newspaper articles appear
nationally explaining that teaching English as a requirement for
graduation is racist. ACLU files class action lawsuit against the state
school system and Pedro's English teacher.  English is then banned
from core curriculum. Pedro is given his diploma anyway but ends up
mowing lawns for a living because he cannot speak English.


Scenario 7:


Johnny takes apart leftover firecrackers from the Fourth of July, puts
them in a model aeroplane paint bottle and blows up a red ant bed.


1957 - Ants die.


2007 - ATF, Homeland Security and the FBI are all called. Johnny is
charged with domestic terrorism. The FBI investigates his parents - all
siblings are removed from their home and all computers are
confiscated. Johnny's dad is placed on a terror watch list and is never
allowed to fly again.


Scenario 8:


Little Johnny falls while running during recess and scrapes his knee.
He is found crying by his teacher, Mary. Mary hugs him to comfort
him.


1957 - In a short time, Johnny feels better and goes on playing.


2007 - Mary is accused of being a sexual predator and loses her job.
She faces 3 years in State Prison.  Johnny undergoes 5 years of
therapy.


---------------------------------


Kinda makes you miss the good ole days sometimes, doesn't it?

some more humour
Mood:  cheeky
Topic: humour
Something else my dear friend Barry sent me.

Yearly Exam

I went to the doctor for my yearly physical.

The nurse started with certain basics.

'How much do you weigh?' she asked.

'135,' I said.

The nurse put me on the scale.

It turned out my weight is 180.

The nurse asked, 'Your height?'

'5 foot 4,' I said.

The nurse checked and saw that I only measure 5'2'.

She then took my blood pressure and told me it is very high.

'Of course it's high!' I screamed. 'When I came in here I was tall and slender! Now I'm short and fat!'

She put me on Prozac.

What a bitch!

some humour
Mood:  cheeky
Topic: humour
This was sent to me in email. Granted, this was before my time (ahem) but I still get a kick out of it, partly because I grew up on the music and (syndicated) shows from the 1950s and '60s.

Enjoy!

-----------------------------

Comments made in the year 1955!

That's only 54 years ago!

"I'll tell you one thing, if things keep going the way they are, it's going to be impossible to buy a week's groceries for $20.00."

"Have you seen the new cars coming out next year?  It won't be long before $2,000.00 will only buy a used one."

"If cigarettes keep going up in price, I'm going to quit.  A quarter a pack is ridiculous."

"Did you hear the post office is thinking about charging a dime just to mail a letter?"

"If they raise the minimum wage to $1.00, nobody will be able to hire outside help at the store."

"When I first started driving, who would have thought gas would someday cost 29 cents a gallon.  Guess we'd be better off leaving the car in the garage."

"Kids today are impossible.  Those duck tail hair cuts make it impossible to stay groomed.  Next thing you know, boys will be wearing their hair as long as the girls."

"I'm afraid to send my kids to the movies any more.  Ever since they let Clark Gable get by with saying DAMN in GONE WITH THE WIND, it seems every new movie has either HELL of DAMN in it."

"I read the other day where some scientist thinks it's possible to put a man on the moon by the end of the century.  They even have some fellows they call astronauts preparing for it down in Texas ."

"Did you see where some baseball player just signed a contract for $75,000 a year just to play ball?  It wouldn't surprise me if someday they'll be making more than the President."

"I never thought I'd see the day all our kitchen appliances would be electric.  They are even making electric typewriters now."

"It's too bad things are so tough nowadays.  I see where a few married women are having to work to make ends meet."

"It won't be long before young couples are going to have to hire someone to watch their kids so they can both work."

"Marriage doesn't mean a thing any more, those Hollywood stars seem to be getting divorced at the drop of a hat."

"I'm afraid the Volkswagen car is going to open the door to a whole lot of foreign business."

"The drive-in restaurant is convenient in nice weather, but I seriously doubt they will ever catch on."

"There is no sense going to Lincoln or Omaha anymore for a weekend, it costs nearly $15.00 a night to stay in a hotel."

"No one can afford to be sick anymore, at $35.00 a day in the hospital it's too rich for my blood."

"If they think I'll pay 50 cents for a hair cut, forget it."

"Thank goodness I won't live to see the day when the Government takes half our income in taxes.  I sometimes wonder if we are electing the best people to congress."
   
Know any friends who would get a kick out of these, pass this on!  Be sure and send it to your children and grandchildren too!

a very disturbing email circulating at care2.com and the book that started it
Mood:  incredulous
Topic: stop and think
This message has me worried. Just because some follow what can be considered an extreme form of a religion does not mean that everyone who follows said religion feels the same way. It's like saying all Christians feel the same way that those from Westboro feel and believe.

This is too much like the alarmist attitudes about Muslims being terrorists after the September 11 attacks, except this is in a book from a woman who used to be Muslim but converted to Christianity.

As a former Catholic who is now Pagan, there is a lot I could say about the dangers of Christians, especially those who become hostile if someone doesn't want to hear their attempt to convert them. Religion of peace? Riiiiiight.

Because no one of any other religion has ever been abusive or mistreated anyone! (rolling eyes in frustrated manner)



So here's the message I have received from friends that I *thought* had more sense than to perpetuate this kind of discrimatory and inflammatory message that borders on hate speech.

Did I say borders on?

Original Message:
-----------------
This is not a very pleasant reading matter  - but a reality that is knocking at the doors of Non Muslims of this world.
Please read and realise the import of the reality that is  in store for  all of us  non Muslims
Joys of Muslim Women by Nonie Darwish
In the Muslim faith a Muslim man can marry a child as young as 1 year old and have sexual intimacy with this child. Consummating the marriage by 9.
The dowry is given to the family in exchange for the woman (who becomes his slave) and for the purchase of the private parts of the woman, to use her as a toy.
Even though a woman is abused she can not obtain a divorce.
To prove rape, the woman must have (4) male witnesses.
Often after a woman has been raped, she is returned to her family and the family must return the dowry.  The family has the right to execute her (an honour killing) to restore the honour of the family.  Husbands can beat their wives 'at will' and he does not have to say why he has beaten her.
The husband is permitted to have (4 wives) and a temporary wife for an hour (prostitute) at his discretion.
The Shariah Muslim law controls the private as well as the public life of the woman.
In the West World ( America ) Muslim men are starting to demand Shariah Law so the wife can not obtain a divorce and he can have full and complete control of her.  It is amazing and alarming how many of our sisters and daughters attending American Universities are now marrying Muslim men and submitting themselves and their children unsuspectingly to the Shariah law.
By passing this on, enlightened American women may avoid becoming a slave under Shariah Law.
Ripping the West in Two.
Author and lecturer Nonie Darwish says the goal of radical Islamists is to impose Shariah law on the world, ripping Western law and liberty in two.
She recently authored the book, Cruel and Usual Punishment: The Terrifying Global Implications of Islamic Law.
Darwish was born in Cairo and spent her childhood in Egypt and Gaza before immigrating to America in 1978, when she was eight years old. Her father died while leading covert attacks on Israel. He was a high-ranking Egyptian military officer stationed with his family in Gaza.
When he died, he was considered a "shahid," a martyr for jihad. His posthumous status earned Nonie and her family an elevated position in Muslim society.
But Darwish developed a sceptical eye at an early age. She questioned her own Muslim culture and upbringing. She converted to Christianity after hearing a Christian preacher on television.
In her latest book, Darwish warns about creeping Shariah law - what it is, what it means, and how it is manifested in Islamic countries.
For the West, she says radical Islamists are working to impose shariah on the world. If that happens, Western civilisation will be destroyed. Westerners generally assume all religions encourage a respect for the dignity of each individual.  Islamic law (Shariah) teaches that non-Muslims should be subjugated or killed in this world.
Peace and prosperity for one's children is not as important as assuring that Islamic law rules everywhere in the Middle East and eventually in the world.
While Westerners tend to think that all religions encourage some form of the golden rule, Shariah teaches two systems of ethics - one for Muslims and another for non-Muslims. Building on tribal practices of the seventh century, Shariah encourages the side of humanity that wants to take from and subjugate others.
While Westerners tend to think in terms of religious people developing a personal understanding of and relationship with God, Shariah advocates executing people who ask difficult questions that could be interpreted as criticism.
It's hard to imagine, that in this day and age, Islamic scholars agree that those who criticise Islam or choose to stop being Muslim should be executed. Sadly, while talk of an Islamic reformation is common and even assumed by many in the West, such murmurings in the Middle East are silenced through intimidation.
While Westerners are accustomed to an increase in religious tolerance over time, Darwish explains how petrol dollars are being used to grow an extremely intolerant form of political Islam in her native Egypt and elsewhere.
In twenty years there will be enough Muslim voters in the U. S. to elect the President by themselves!
I think everyone in the U.S. should be required to read this, but with the ACLU, there is no way this will be widely publicised, unless each of us sends it on!
This is your chance to make a difference!

Bitch Queens webring

Powered by WebRing.

a message i got at change.org from an anti-choicer
Topic: rant
Here's a message I received through Change.org from a guy whose initials are BAE:

"Naral Taxpayers are forced (anti-choice) to hand over 1 million dollars per day to PP. The ONLY thing PP cares about is $$$ - NOT women. It ends a beautiful life at a most precious and vulnerable time. Abortion is not health care. I ask you to reconsider. BAE"

He had also sent me a message accusing me of inconsistency with the causes I support. Um, where? Because I'm against discrimination? Because I'm for equal rights for everyone?

The reply I sent him asked if he preferred that a rape victim be forced to carry her rapist's child.

I also said that I didn't know what "inconsistencies" he referred to, but that I was not here to make him happy.

Besides, you never hear of pro-choicers bombing clinics, it's the so-called pro-lifers that do that.

Then again, if the "pro-life" lobby had their way, women would just get black market abortions like they did before Roe v Wade. All that would happen would be more women would be dying from secondary infections and hemmoraging.

Anyway, I just felt the need to get that out. I can't believe the arrogance of some people to do that, to try to convince someone to become . . . Anti-choice, you could say.

And from a man, no less!

I wonder if he'd feel the same way if he could get pregnant?

Review of e.l.f. cosmetics
Mood:  flirty
Topic: product reviews
I'm not really one to promote products, but I have to say, e.l.f.'s line is just too good not to review.

When I first saw a display of their cosmetics at a local Target, I was drawn in by the price: a dollar a piece. Then I saw them labelled as cruelty-free (no animal testing) and ALL of their products have since become vegan (no more beeswax or lanolin)! I figured, what the heck, I'll try a few. Even if I didn't like them, I wouldn't be out much money.

So, I bought the Element compact, a mirrored compact with four magnetic slots in which to place refills of eye shadow, lip gloss, and/or blush, plus a dual-ended applicator. For eye shadow, I chose Dusk, a gorgeous smoky black, and Moonglow, a shimmery 'taupe-y' shade. Whatever shade you choose, you will get excellent coverage with very little product.

I chose Crimson for my lip gloss, a shade which looks very red in the container, but, once applied, gives just a hint of colour and plenty of moisture.

I also got Ivory, a white eye shadow that provides a nice shimmer. I use it as a highlighter along my brow bone or anywhere I want shimmer without colour.

Normally, I don't use face powder, because I have mild eczema brought on by food allergies (you try avoiding any and all tomato products when you don't live alone). Most powders just aren't an option for me. e.l.f.'s powder, though, is so light and does not exacerbate my sometimes dry skin. It pairs really well with their concealer. Like the eye shadow, a little goes a long way and blends into the skin quite well.

Since I first tried their cosmetics, I'm hooked. I love experimenting with their different colours to get new effects, ranging from dramatic to sultry to natural, and am never disappointed.

I've tried different brands over the last fifteen or so years, and I have to say, e.l.f. is the best, in my opinion.

There are lots of great things I could say about e.l.f. cosmetics - the low price, the great coverage, the light-weight feel of it on your skin - but the best way to find that out is to try it yourself.

So go to http://eyeslipsface.com. You can order online or use the store locator to see who sells these products in your area.

Remember the troops
Mood:  hug me
Topic: things to share
This was sent to me by a dear friend of mine (thanks, Nick!), and because I have family in the military, I think it is important that we all take a moment to think of everyone in uniform.

1/2 boy 1/2 man

The average age of the military man is 19 years. He is a short haired, tight-muscled kid who, under normal circumstances is considered by society as half man, half boy.

Not quite dry behind the ears, not old enough to buy a beer, but old enough to die for his country.

He never really cared much for work and he would rather wax his own car than wash his father's, but he has never collected unemployment either.

He's a recent High School graduate; he was probably an average student, pursued some form of sport activities, drives a ten year old jalopy, and has a steady girlfriend that either broke up with him when he left, or swears to be waiting when he returns from half a world away. He listens to rock and roll or hip-hop or rap or jazz or swing and a 155mm howitzer.

He is 10 or 15 pounds lighter now than when he was at home because he is working or fighting from before dawn to well after dusk. He has trouble spelling, thus letter writing is a pain for him, but he can field strip a rifle in 30 seconds and reassemble it in less time in the dark. He can recite to you the nomenclature of a machine gun or grenade launcher and use either one effectively if he must.

He digs foxholes and latrines and can apply first aid like a professional.

He can march until he is told to stop, or stop until he is told to march.

He obeys orders instantly and without hesitation, but he is not without spirit or individual dignity.

He is self-sufficient.

He has two sets of fatigues: he washes one and wears the other. He keeps his canteens full and his feet dry.

He sometimes forgets to brush his teeth, but never to clean his rifle. He can cook his own meals, mend his own clothes, and fix his own hurts.

If you're thirsty, he'll share his water with you; if you are hungry, his food. He'll even split his ammunition with you in the midst of battle when you run low.

He has learned to use his hands like weapons and weapons like they were his hands.

He can save your life - or take it, because that is his job.

He will often do twice the work of a civilian, draw half the pay, and still find ironic humour in it all.

He has seen more suffering and death than he should have in his short lifetime.

He has wept in public and in private, for friends who have fallen in combat and is unashamed.

He feels every note of the National Anthem vibrate through his body while at rigid attention, while temperring the burning desire to 'square-away ' those around him who haven't bothered to stand, remove their hat, or even stop talking.
In an odd twist, day in and day out, far from home, he defends their right to be disrespectful.
Just as did his Father, Grandfather, and Great-grandfather, he is paying the price for our freedom. Beardless or not, he is not a boy. He is the American Fighting Man that has kept this country free for over 200 years.

He has asked nothing in return, except our friendship and understanding. Remember him, always, for he has earned our respect and admiration with his blood.

And now we even have women over there in danger, doing their part in this tradition of going to War when our nation calls us to do so.

As you go to bed tonight, remember this image . . .

A short lull, a little shade and a picture of loved ones in their helmets.

Prayer wheel for our military (if you pray)
Prayer Wheel

'Lord, hold our troops in your loving hands.
Protect them as they protect us. Bless them and their families for the selfless acts they perform for us in our time of need. Amen.'

When you receive this, please stop for a moment and remember our ground troops in Afghanistan , sailors on ships, and airmen in the air, and for those in Iraq , Afghanistan and all foreign countries.

There is nothing attached . . .
This can be very powerful . . .

Of all the gifts you could give a US Soldier, Sailor, Coastguardsman, Marine, or Airman, an encouraging word and your thanks might be the very best one.